Premiership 2006-2007 Predictions

The fixture list for next season has just been published.
How will your team fare? Crystal balls in hand, I predict...

Arsenal is strategy game very similar to command & conquer
Aston Villa is getting more than a bit tiresome
Blackburn Rovers is not going to happen
Bolton Wanderers is being linked to a move to Tottenham
Charlton is easy if you have a map
Chelsea is a 3 and a half year old female located in Plymouth
Everton is a hard place to come
Fulham is sadly closing shortly
Liverpool is thrown out by high court judge
Man City is the best laxative you can take
Man Utd is to be a criminal offense
Middlesborough is bloody miles away
Newcastle is pork
Portsmouth is closing its doors
Reading is not a natural process
Sheffield United is in doubt following a freak injury sustained at home
Tottenham Hotspur is a cockerel and I need it to be a fighting cockerel
Watford is a small town with "big issues"
West Ham is being hit by giant hammer
Wigan is about to capture some of this continental magic with proposals for it's own farmer's market the monthly event will be a welcome boost for crisis

courtesy of Googlism