Staying behind after class

Apologies reader for my lack of recent posts. I've been in detention for the past week, unable to get out and about or even sit down at this PC for long. The cause? A painful hip joint or nerve or something... Anyroadup, I'm propped up by a pillow now and I feel a duty to type on regardless.

One of the benefits of having to lie down on my couch everyday has been the ability to watch ITV's Loose Women at lunchtime, followed by live coverage on BBC 2 of the Women's World Cup in China. All very enjoyable. As a result I've become more in touch with my feminine side, and eaten too much chocolate in the process!

Another recent treat has been watching St. Trinian's on DVD. 'So what?' I hear you think. Well I believe I was the only person on the entire planet (and therefore the whole universe?) that sat through all four St. Trinian's films over the weekend:

The Belles of St Trinian's (1954)
Blue Murder at St Trinian's (1957)
The Pure Hell of St Trinian's (1960)
The Great St Trinian's Train Robbery (1966)

These classic British comedies about public schoolgirls running riot have aged well. I found that, despite having already seen them several times before in my yoof, they are still very entertaining.

Now that I'm older, I can properly appreciate all of the great old comic actors that appear on screen: Alastair Simm (Headmistress Fritton/Clarence Fritton), Joyce Grenfell (Policewoman Ruby Gates) and George Cole (Flash Harry) are of course in the most memorable roles, but let's not forget some of the good supporting cast members in the series like Beryl Reid, Terry Thomas, Sid James, Terry Scott, Frankie Howerd, Lionel Jefferies, Dora Bryan, Reg Varney, Irene Handel and... Arthur Mullard!

Oh and I've not even mentioned the girls yet! Those sexy 6th formers dressed in tights and suspenders, drinking booze and smoking! And the charming little 4th and 5th formers who, when not down at bookies with Flash Harry, would be throwing tomatoes at policemen, whacking dodgy Europeans or Arabs (trying to enslave the 6th formers) with their hockey sticks, or burning down their school (again).

So there you have it, I wached all of the St Trinian's films in one weekend. Well no, actually that's a bit misleading - apparently there's another one... A secret correspondent has informed me of a disastrous attempt in 1980 to try to update and revive the series with Wildcats of St. Trinian's. This same correspondent's only recommendation of the film to me is that it's supposedly 'got tits in it'. Er, yes, but that just sounds really sad, and obviously not in the spirit of the comic strip the original film was inspired by. I've not seen the dubious 'Wildcats' and hope I never will.

More sad news!!! A new St. Trinian's film is currently in production (sigh). Why on earth are they bothering? The first four films have funny scripts, wonderful performances and are now coated in a golden wave of British comedy nostalgia. We just don't need any more St. Trinian's films. The new one is apparently going to 'star' Rupert Everett and Girls Aloud! Oh God, it sounds like it's going be as shit as that sorry attempt to revive the Carry On series - Carry On Columbus. Noooooo! Arrgh me hip! I'd better lie down.