Jar Jar is a Wonker
On Thursday I was waiting at Kings Cross station for a late night train home. Half asleep, I wandered over to the newsstand to kill a little time. Did you know there's a magazine called '60 Plus'? Anyway, I digress. I saw that there was a new issue of Empire on sale which had a choice of about 4 or 5 different Star Wars '30th anniversary' covers. I don't like the prequels much so I decided against buying a copy with Darth Maul on the front. The Vader and Stormtrooper covers looked cool but, being contrary and anti-cool, I finally plumped for one with Admiral Ackbar on it! Yes really, the Mon Calamari Rebel Alliance Commander, Admiral "It's a trap!" Ackbar... Old squid-face.
Ackbar's devotion to duty meant that he found little time for marriage or children
There I was, quite pleased with my choice until the guy running the newsstand said "There's another 29 of 'em mate". What? Good grief! I opened my copy, looked inside and sure enough it turns out that there are 30 different covers to choose from - and most of them are great looking (no offense Admiral), especially the Princess Leia Bikini slave girl cover! Hubba hubba.
Some extreme Star Wars collector nuts will no doubt buy all 30. Personally, I'll be chuffed if I spot Leia in W.H. Smiths over the next few weeks - or maybe I'll get excited if I see Jar Jar Binks amongst the periodicals. Yes, you read that correctly. Jar Jar. Everyone, quite rightly, hates JJ and it turns out that he really is a WONKER! 'Cos you see, there's actually a special 31st 'Golden' Jar Jar cover! Only 10 copies have been printed and whoever finds one will be treated to some very limited edition Lucasfilm goodies. Can you find Jar Jar?
Let me wrap this up by saying 'happy 30th birthday' to Star Wars. I first saw the original film on its UK release at the Dominion, Tottenham court Road. I was so excited by it that I lost my voice! I'd never seen anything like it and I was blown away. I've only lost my voice through sheer excitement twice since then; At an appropriate time in the future, I may talk about these other momentous occasions in this blog. Stay tuned and you might find out what they are!
I think I'll have to re-watch Return Of The Jedi tonight. It's probably only my 5th favourite of the 6 Star Wars films but I've still got Bikini clad Leia on my mind! - I won't be satisfied until I see her strangle the life out of the slobbering Jabba The Hut.
www.leiasmetalbikini.com
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